This summer, after I finally purchased a car and started a relationship, along with having two National Flute Association competitions ahead, I accidentally fell off my electric scooter on my way from school to home. I busted my chin and my top teeth bit through my bottom lip. I was found by strangers at school and they escorted me onto the ambulance. I didn’t know what this accident could do to my career at that time. I was naive enough to have had only worried about the scarring on my chin after stitches.
The doctors at the ER sutured my chin and left my lip unstitched and sent me home. Three weeks later, there’s a firm bump raised on my lower lip and it wasn’t going away. I was suspicious about it so I went to the dentist, and then got referred to the oral surgeon. It turned out that there were tooth fragments embedded in my lip. The oral surgeon took TWO procedures to take out the fragments. I was in huge pain after each procedure, and the bump didn’t go away. I browsed through “RealSelf” website and found out the bump was scar tissue, and adults who fell as a kid still suffer from it. I tried to play the head joint. However, only the air sound came out of the flute. Suddenly, I felt cold sweat all over my body. I was a quarterfinalist in a national flute competition a month ago and now I sound worse than a beginner. I panicked and cried. I was mad that the ER doctors didn’t find the fragments in the first place; I was mad that it took the oral surgeon two procedures to take out the fragment; most of all, I was mad at myself. I couldn’t stop by thinking about the accident. “It was such a stupid accident. I could have avoided it.” Since then, days have never felt so long for me. I lied in bed and played tons of spider solitaire, hoping I could win one round which means I can play the flute again, but I didn’t win. I tried to block everything flute-related because it aches my heart. This is indeed the darkest and most depressing month of my life. I had to give up the NFA competitions as expected. At this time, I don’t even care how good a flutist I want to be – I just want to play the flute, again.
After consulting with some plastic surgeons and the oral surgeon, they suggested me wait till six months after the lip procedures and then consider a lip scar revision surgery if necessary. The good news is that the scar tissue should be softened by then if I massage it enough. I am now only one week post-op, there should still be hope. I decide to be patient and see where the universe leads me in six months. Meanwhile, I am going to massage my lip everyday and try to make a sound on the flute. I would like to write this post and keep updating it. I don’t know what will happen in six months, but I still have hope. If there are fellow musicians who also got injured by accident, I hope this post can keep you accompanied and encouraged. For musicians who still can play music, I would like to send a gentle reminder that, being able to play is a privilege. Please cherish your healthy body and do not over work it. It would be too late once you lose the ability to play.
In the next post, I would like to write about things I’ve discovered about myself during the month after my injury.
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